It’s been said that sex is like pizza: even when it’s bad, it’s still better than no pizza at all. But really, nobody wants Ellio’s if they can get at least a Tombstone, or possibly even a Newman’s Own Uncured Pepperoni Thin & Crispy.
For all the men out there serving up cold leftovers in bed, here are the things you’re doing horribly, horribly wrong, according to women who constantly endure them.
1. Treating her nipples like Otter Pops
“Nipple play doesn’t really do anything for me. It’s kind of whatever. But what really creeps me out is when a guy is just down there forever… like he’s breastfeeding.” – Gabi, 28
Some guys will latch on harder than a dehydrated newborn. Not only is it uncomfortably Oedipal, it’s not even comfortable, let alone erotic. Our nips are super sensitive, with varying degrees of sensitivity throughout the month, so …